Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la, The Magical Mystery Tour


Hello, and welcome to my home page. It's a little messy and cluttered right now, hope you don't mind. I've been somewhat slow getting into this World Wide Web thing, but then I've been connected to the Internet for something like 6 years now. I cut my teeth on Unix(tm) operating systems, and learned to negotiate the net via FTP and telnet pretty early. So, by the time the Web came up, I didn't see the point. Add to that the fact that the only interface available to me at the time was annoyingly point-and-click'y and it adds up to making the Web something not very worthwhile.

Still, I've come around since then. Some of the things I've been forced to check out by friends have brought me around. Also, I've lost my graphics terminal capability (at least temporarily), so my web browser du jour has become lynx, which is much more cryptic. I like that.

So, that's my web background, but you don't really care about any of that, you're more concerned with what my interests are, right?

"What kind of people are we?" - Dr. Leonard McCoy

This is the part where I list what interests me, and if it interests you, than hey, drop me a line, perhaps we can discuss them.

B-Grade Movies

There's all kinds. There's the schlocky monster movie from the '50s. There's the cheesy science fiction movie with snazzy special effects. There's the cheesy science fiction movie with incredibly lame special effects. There's the somewhat offensive (if you're inclined to be offended by such things) teensploitation flicks. I like 'em all. If a movie stars Robert Vaughn or Sybil Danning, it's sure to please.

Movies, in General

That's not to say I don't like other movies. I do. I also have an unfortunate habit of watching movies I like several times. A side effect of this is, if I happen to see a movie more than about 4 or 5 times, I have it memorized. Completely. That's why my speech patterns tend to be corrupted by movie quotes. Sorry about that.


I try to fill my spare time with creative endeavors, ranging from writing, to role-playing, to acting. I don't draw, but that's mostly because I lack skill. If you know of a good way to become a self-taught artist, let me know, eh?

One of my more famous creative efforts is called USFP, the Universal Science Fiction Parody. It is currently incomplete, but I hope to start work on it again soon. Damn that procrastinator. Anyway, there should be a web version of it available here.

Another piece of writing of mine, well, not exclusively mine but I did help, is called the Neverending Saga. This is a misnomer of sorts. We did finally end it. There's ample introduction to it there, so you can have a look yourself. My parts are listed under TOOZDAY.

Alternate Tuesdays

Some other things you probably want to ought to know about me. I'm FRIGGIN' HUGE! Six and a half feet tall. Five feet around. I'm not kidding. Really, I am. I usually like to get that out right up front, since I believe it's had an effect on the kind of person I am. I've always been big. So, really, my personality could develop one of two ways. A) Brutish, obnoxious louse. B) Jolly, great wackmobile. Fortunately, I've managed to land myself firmly in column B.

Oh, and here is a link to pages I've found that are interesting.

I have a number of E-mail addresses you can reach me at:





Well, that just about covers everything for know. I'll probably improve this page as I become more accustomed to it.
Go back to Sidehack now.